I was born in Robbinsdale, Minnesota in 1985. My father and mother brought me home to Maple Grove, to begin life with my two older sisters. Unfortunately my parents split up within the first year of my life so my first bits of memory only include my sisters and my dad. One of my first clear memories is of a time when my dad was getting us all ready for bed; it was chaotic and fun and we all circled through the shower like a revolving door. Honestly, I could not tell you what age I was or how long that routine went on for but I do know that those are my people! My sisters and my dad are my deepest core group of support and without them I would probably be dead, literally or figuratively.
Living in Minnesota was not ideal for me; the weather is cold and gloomy most of the year and I always wanted life beyond The Midwest. Early was the beginning of my relationship with alcohol and street drugs. I struggled through my teens and had no real desire or direction for more. In my early 20s I had abruptly moved South for a new and exciting relationship with “Mr. Georgia”. We married after only knowing each other for a few weeks and as quickly as we met, the abuse began. My life literally went South from there. This relationship didn’t last very long, less than two years; however, it massively stunted my growth as an adult while I remained frozen as that vulnerable and battered young woman.
For a decade to follow, I felt like I couldn’t or shouldn’t speak up about the relationship. I thought, just walk away from it and move on like it never happened. I knew he couldn’t reach me again so it was time to shove all that aside, as we traditionally would with a rotten meal, order a new lifestyle and try to “let it go.” I liked to think that but really, I continued to make irresponsible decisions, one after another, which ultimately could be coined as The Aftermath of Abuse: turning to prescription pills, weed, cocaine, alcohol by the barrels, and a new man who never hit me but still treated me as less than. This never-ending cycle of barely surviving went on for another 12-18 months after the divorce was finalized. I just could not get it together long enough to consider myself stable.
Today, with a genuine interest in making a difference for all the survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, or other assault against us; healing can happen. I am a licensed massage therapist and small business owner alongside with my husband as we opened a day spa for massage & bodywork. As lifers in the arena of self-doubt and depreciation, we have a highly used phrase that helps us get through the tough times, “slow and steady, wins the race.” Personally, I am in no hurry for this race (life) to be over, I live by the power of positivity, my days are not taken for granted and my nights are an adventure. Because of my chosen profession, I literally am the designer of my life ahead and I am so totally over the moon about all the possibilities.
My hope is that my openness here will create a ripple effect for more people to discuss their circumstances in life that have caused them to be where they are now; I’d ask that we share our lives with one another and feel confident in our own skin.
❤ Thank you for joining me and sharing this life with one another.